"I" cried out for milk at... Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Love seems to be in the air and in my head lately.
I'm still a single girl awaiting for love to arrive. Should I ever be thinking this way? it make me seems useless and helpless. Why can't I be strong? i surely can live without guys, can't i? But things don't go what I think.
Whenever I think of such things, I will feel miserable. It seems so nice to be loved by someone, to have someone waiting for you, someone to dote on you and someone to lend you a shoulder to lend on and do things together. And you will end up using words like " We…" instead of "I.."
I long for people to love me. I can't imagine myself without it. I guess I will be very lonely and I dread being a loner at times. And I would wish there is someone there for me.
Am I asking it myself? But do I really understand what love is supposed to be like?
Sometime, I really think I don't understand. I have never been on a relationship. I have seen friends having boyfriends and having their small quarrels. I also heard stories of breakup before and how hurt a person can be. It's tough, isn't it? but it's equally tough without love or having a one-sided love too. I somewhat envy people who at least have a relationship. Friends are always telling me that love relationship is not as smooth as what it seems. And being single, you’ll have one less person to control you. True enough. Having a boyfriend means that you will have to report most of your things to him. Maybe, like I say, I have yet to experience this kind of feeling.
What is love? Anyone to enlighten me?
I have my crushes. Some of them come and go but some last and hurt. It really hurts. And it is always so tiring. Sometime I feel like crying for feeling so stupid. I used to scold myself not to think so much of it and that I should not feel anything towards this person, it’s impossible that anything will happen between us. but I cant control these feelings in my heart.
At some point of time, I begin to console myself out of it. I tell myself that I still have my friends around. Or that some people can survive as themselves, they don’t even rely on others, or I shall wait for the my Mr Right. Good things are worth waiting. Somehow I managed to pull out of this mess for that moment.
I agree with joyce, maybe I should not dwell on love too much.
I may miss out the beauty of life if I dwell too much. Again, what is my worth of living in this world then? With or without me, the world wont change at all. Where is the beauty then?
Pessimist Jun's words...
I dr@nk my nic3 w@rm milk @t...
12:19 AM :D
* I WAN MY MILK!!!
"I" cried out for milk at... Monday, May 16, 2005
Nothing much for the week except for the mambo night. It was like the 208 mambo for the first time. There were a few 208 activities but not all turn up as usual. Everyone has different interest and priorties. Some definitely don't give "chiong" a chance at all. Anyway, there was a chilling out and that time isetan sale, szeman and the rest went for a nice shopping sale. Suddenly, I miss shopping with them all. Miss having a chance to have a good talk. there will be chance again.
I found my long lost primary school best friend, jasmine zhou. So surprisingly that she is lisi's friend. Finally found her, I have actually given up on finding her thinking that she has forgotten me. it's been long. I really want to meet her up some day and have a nice chat. I want to tell her everything that has happened. But can i? we have not seen each other for 7½ years. Even me and hsien cant talk about everything under the sun. Can it be said between me and jasmine? Hope we have not change much. Really missed her. lisi told me that she is rich. Was she? I cant remember, I always rem her and her mum together, and her mum is really very nice. They are all nice people. Glad that jasmine actually recognizes me. cant wait till we chat. I haven't been online for a long while at night. Till then we will see. Hee!
I dr@nk my nic3 w@rm milk @t...
1:12 AM :D
* I WAN MY MILK!!!
"I" cried out for milk at... Saturday, May 07, 2005
Today, I took half day off. went back to school for hweeying intersemester tutorial class.
why am i there when i didnt even have intersem class?
i promise to mark attendance for ying. she is overseas. so help a friend. im a great friend right? haha.. but i actually didnt want to go. cos i will miss work and that means money and must travel all the way to boon lay. furthermore, im alone. I wanted to ask Peiqin to mark. she is in the earlier class. but so weird. so in the end, i qing zhi chu ma and travel to sch.
sleep through the journey to sch. and back to work. Am i that tired? "BODY", pls respond.
Anyway, went back to work, and finally there is REAL work to do. and seems alot. it's piling up. hee. i will take my time. so that i wont finish it so fast and end up nothing to do again. i have to plan carefully. anyway, i haven start to call customers yet. janie had already confirm 13 people to attend the dinner. and we need 40 people.
the event is a all female theme event. the dinner is cost $230. but the bank will pay for them. it will be free for the cardmembers. But these customers are damn rich customers. so busy u know. so even it's free.this $230 to them is nothing. haiz.. there is one thing i like about this dinner. free flow of WINE!! i haven drink WINE for ages too. haiz.
anyway, hopefully dont get into trouble. and when i was at work, i keep calling hong for queries. cos she is familar there. i guess she is so feed-up. hee. so sorry. but u told me not to trust nadia. so there u go. hee. anyway, THANK YOU for ur help.
I dr@nk my nic3 w@rm milk @t...
12:59 AM :D
* I WAN MY MILK!!!
work work work.
I have started work 1 day after my exams. Me and Janie have no freedom to choose when to start. though some may see it as a good thing. But i wanted to play for a few days before the start of work. I finally get my freedom after all the battles that i go to. But, haiz...
Anyway, the very day of my last paper, i went to KTV. so nice.. get to sing so much.. been wanting to go since ages. Anyway, Peiwen also came along. I was abit surprise when she says okie and onz. Because last time i ask her before, she dont like the idea of KTV and i have ask my friend, Joyce along too. so it's abit surprising to me.
After KTV, went walking around aimlessly in orchard. just dont seems like shopping around. we went kino and lib in the end to look at books. i guess im kinda weird. when im stress in study, i want to read books. but when im free, and i have the book, i just dont really look at it. i guess that's me.
that day, i was damn tired. when i reach home, i bath, and i slp liao. so so tired. And i still overslept. and was late for reporting to work. first day Im late. as usual. i guess i really need to change my habits.
then the next day, late too.. cos the previous day, hang out late with 208 ppl in a cafe at Bugis. initially, we wanted to go mambo. but change of plans. it's also great chilling out too. anyway, when i went home, i wait til my hair is almost dry before i sleep. and i overslp again. this time worst.. i onli wake up at 9.. the time that im supposed to be at work. then i hurry rush. and took cab down. $9 cab fare. haiz. cant afford to be too late on the 2nd day. didnt want Irene(superior) to know about it.
luckily she nv look for me. Janie help to cover for the work for the 1 hr. but she also says no work to do. sian.
I dr@nk my nic3 w@rm milk @t...
12:29 AM :D
* I WAN MY MILK!!!
